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Steer Clear of These 6 Phrases: What Not to Say to Your Mother-in-Law

April 3, 2025 by Latrice Perez
Two women having serious quarrel and talking at table in home interior
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Navigating the delicate dynamics of a mother-in-law relationship can be challenging. While it’s natural to want to build a positive connection, certain phrases can unintentionally create tension and conflict. Avoiding these common pitfalls can help foster a harmonious relationship and prevent unnecessary drama. Let’s explore six things you should never say to your mother-in-law.

“You’re Doing It Wrong.”

Even if you have the best intentions, telling your mother-in-law that she’s doing something wrong is guaranteed to cause friction. Whether it’s about cooking, parenting, or household chores, avoid criticizing her methods. Instead, offer suggestions gently or simply observe and learn. Respect her experience and expertise, even if you disagree.

“My Mom Does It This Way.”

Comparing your mother-in-law to your own mother is a surefire way to create resentment. While it’s natural to draw comparisons, avoid making them explicit. Focus on building a unique relationship with your mother-in-law, rather than trying to replicate the dynamic you have with your own mother. Each relationship is unique.

“You’re Too Involved.”

Mothers-in-law often want to be involved in their children’s lives, and sometimes, this can feel overwhelming. However, telling her that she’s too involved is likely to hurt her feelings. Instead, communicate your need for space and boundaries respectfully. Find a middle ground that allows her to feel included without infringing on your privacy.

“You Don’t Understand.”

Dismissing your mother-in-law’s feelings or experiences with a simple “you don’t understand” can be incredibly hurtful. Even if you disagree with her perspective, acknowledge her feelings and try to understand where she’s coming from. Showing empathy and respect can go a long way in building a positive relationship.

“Your Son/Daughter Is Just Like You.”

While this might seem like a compliment, it can often be interpreted negatively, especially if you’re referring to a less desirable trait. Avoid making generalizations about your spouse’s family and focus on appreciating their individual qualities. Each person is their own person.

“I Don’t Need Your Advice.”

Upset mature woman quarrel with daughter sitting at table in home
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Even if you don’t plan on taking her advice, dismissing it outright can be disrespectful. Instead, listen politely and thank her for her input. You can always choose whether or not to follow her advice, but acknowledging her efforts shows respect and appreciation.

Building Bridges, Not Barriers

Navigating the mother-in-law relationship requires tact, patience, and empathy. By avoiding these six common phrases, you can foster a positive and respectful dynamic. Remember, building strong relationships takes time and effort, but the rewards are well worth it.

What are some other phrases you’ve learned to avoid with your mother-in-law? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below!

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