The first month of dating is supposed to feel exciting filled with butterflies, flirty texts, and daydreams about what could be. But excitement can blur your judgment. Sometimes the signs that someone isn’t right for you show up early, even if everything feels like it’s going well. Paying attention in that first month can save you from months—or even years—of pain. Here are 9 red flags women should never ignore in the first month of dating.
1. He’s Overly Intense Way Too Soon
If he’s already calling you his soulmate or talking about moving in together after three dates, be cautious. While it might feel flattering at first, extreme intensity is often a sign of emotional immaturity or love bombing. Healthy love builds slowly, with time and trust—not a rush of compliments and grand gestures meant to sweep you off your feet before you’ve even had time to think.
2. He’s Inconsistent with His Words and Actions
At first, he texts you good morning every day. Then… nothing. He calls you “amazing” but forgets plans or leaves you hanging. Inconsistency may be your biggest clue that he’s not truly invested or emotionally available. If someone can’t be steady in the first few weeks—when they should be trying their best—it rarely gets better with time.
3. He Talks Badly About All His Exes
Listen closely when he brings up past relationships. If every ex was “toxic,” “crazy,” or somehow the villain in his story, it’s a red flag. A man who can’t take accountability or reflect on his role in past failures isn’t ready for a healthy relationship. You’re not the exception to his pattern—you’re just the next chapter.
4. He Pushes Your Boundaries
Whether it’s moving faster physically than you’re comfortable with or guilting you into spending more time together than you’d like, boundary-pushing is never okay. If he doesn’t respect your “no” now, what makes you think he’ll respect it later? The way someone responds to your limits is a powerful predictor of the relationship dynamic to come.
5. He Wants to Be in Control of Everything
Pay attention to who calls the shots. If he always chooses where you go, when you talk, or how you spend time together, that’s not leadership—it’s control. In a healthy relationship, both people contribute. If it feels like you’re just along for the ride, it’s a red flag wrapped in charm.
6. He Doesn’t Ask About You
Some men love to talk—about themselves. But do they listen? If he can go an entire dinner talking about his work, his goals, and his opinions without once asking about yours, take note. This isn’t shyness—it’s self-absorption. You deserve someone who’s curious about your life, not just focused on their own.
7. He Disrespects Others
Watch how he treats the waitress, talks about his coworkers, or mentions his family. If he’s rude to strangers or gossips constantly, those same behaviors will eventually be directed at you. A man’s character isn’t just how he treats you when he likes you—it’s how he treats everyone, even when there’s nothing to gain.
8. He Mentions “Crazy” Jealousy as a Joke
It might seem harmless if he makes a sarcastic comment about “not liking your guy friends” or playfully checks your phone. But jealousy isn’t cute—it’s controlling. Early signs of possessiveness can quickly spiral into full-blown emotional abuse. If it makes you uncomfortable now, don’t wait to see how far it goes.
9. Your Gut Just Doesn’t Feel Right
Sometimes, you don’t need a clear reason. You just feel something’s off. Your body can sense what your heart is trying to ignore. If something inside you is whispering that this isn’t safe, right, or good—it’s okay to walk away. You don’t need evidence to leave a situation that doesn’t feel aligned.
Trusting the Signs Early Saves You Later
The first month of dating reveals more than we often realize—if we’re paying attention. Those little red flags you ignore now could become the very reasons you feel stuck or heartbroken later. Trust your gut, listen to your intuition, and don’t be afraid to walk away when something feels off. You’re not being “too picky”—you’re protecting your peace.
What’s a red flag you spotted early on that saved you from a bad relationship? Share your story in the comments below.
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Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.