Dining out is supposed to be enjoyable. But for the people serving your meal, it can be stressful—especially when customers forget that kindness matters. If you want better service and a more respectful experience all around, avoid saying these six things to your waitress.
1. “Isn’t it your job to be nice?”
This one might seem innocent, but it’s actually pretty insulting. Being friendly isn’t just a switch waitresses flip on for tips—it’s emotional labor. Saying this implies she has no real choice in how she interacts with you. Instead of expecting a smile, try offering one first. A little appreciation goes a long way.
2. “Can you do something about this noise?”
Restaurants are noisy. It could be the music, a packed house, or a loud birthday party across the room. Either way, your waitress likely has no control over the volume. Rather than complaining, ask politely if there’s a quieter spot available. Showing patience earns you more goodwill than demanding the impossible.
3. “I want this dish, but can you make it with these changes?”
A few small tweaks? Totally fair. But when you start redesigning the menu, you’re creating chaos in the kitchen. Custom orders slow down service for everyone—and not all substitutions are possible. If you need adjustments, ask respectfully and understand if the answer is no.
4. “Wow, you look tired.”
Commenting on someone’s appearance by stating they look tired can be perceived as intrusive and unhelpful. Such remarks may inadvertently highlight insecurities or personal challenges the individual is facing. Instead of pointing out perceived fatigue, offering supportive comments or assistance can foster a more positive interaction. This approach demonstrates empathy and respect for the person’s feelings.
5. “You must hate working here.”
This one can put someone on the spot fast. No one wants to badmouth their job at the table, and this question feels awkward at best. Even if the job looks tough, lead with empathy, not assumptions. A better approach? “Thanks for taking care of us tonight.”
6. “Can you split the bill 10 ways?”
Requesting a server to divide a bill among numerous individuals can be cumbersome, particularly during peak dining hours. While many establishments possess the capability to accommodate such requests, it’s courteous to inform your server at the beginning of the meal if separate checks are desired. This proactive approach allows them to manage orders more efficiently. Alternatively, utilizing mobile payment applications like Venmo or Zelle enables groups to settle their portions independently, streamlining the payment process and minimizing potential delays.
A Little Courtesy Makes a Big Difference
Your waitress isn’t just delivering food—she’s managing requests, juggling tables, and trying to make your meal enjoyable. Treating her with respect creates a better vibe for everyone at the table. So next time you eat out, skip the comments that make things harder and show some kindness instead.
What’s the rudest thing you’ve ever heard someone say to a waitress? Drop it in the comments—and let’s talk about how we can all do better when dining out.
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Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.