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10 Red Flags in Dating You Should Never Ignore

June 7, 2024 by Vanessa Bermudez
dating red flags
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Navigating the dating world can be like trying to find your way through a maze blindfolded. But fear not! Being aware of certain red flags can make the process a bit easier and safer. So, let’s talk about those tell-tale signs that scream “run away!” rather than “lean in.”

1. They’re Super Sketchy About Their Past

They're Super Sketchy About Their Past
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If your date is more secretive than a spy about their past, consider that a big red flag. Sure, some people are private, but outright refusal to share any personal history can be a sign that they’re hiding something big. Whether it’s unresolved issues from previous relationships or a history they’re not proud of, transparency is key to a healthy relationship. If they’re dodging questions now, imagine trying to build something meaningful on shaky ground.

2. They Disrespect Your Boundaries

They Disrespect Your Boundaries
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Boundaries are crucial, and someone constantly pushing yours is a major no-no. If you say you’re uncomfortable with something and they keep pressing the issue, or worse, make you feel bad for it, that’s not okay. A partner who respects you will honor your feelings and limits. Ignoring or ridiculing your boundaries is a form of control, not affection. Watch how they react when you assert yourself; it says a lot about how they handle consent and personal space.

3. They Badmouth Their Exes

They Badmouth Their Exes
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It’s normal to discuss past relationships to some extent, but constant negativity about exes can be a warning sign. If every ex is “crazy” or “horrible,” you have to wonder, what’s the common denominator? This kind of talk could indicate unresolved issues, an unwillingness to take responsibility for past relationship failures, or a tendency to blame others. Healthy people reflect and learn from their relationships. Too much trash talk might hint at a lack of maturity and growth.

4. They’re Hot and Cold

They're Hot and Cold
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Does your date swing from intensely keen to mysteriously distant? This rollercoaster can be a sign of emotional instability or manipulation. A person who is genuinely interested in a healthy relationship will strive for consistency rather than playing mind games. If you’re left feeling confused more often than not, it might be time to reconsider your investment. Emotional unpredictability is not the foundation for a stable partnership.

5. They Rush the Relationship

They Rush the Relationship
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If someone is pressing fast-forward on your relationship, it’s enough to make you pause and think. Moving too quickly can be a sign that they’re more in love with the idea of love than with you. This rush can also be a way to sweep you off your feet and gain control before you’ve had time to think. True connections take time to develop. If it feels like you’re on a runaway train, it might be wise to pull the emergency brake.

6. Lack of Friends or Long-Term Relationships

Lack of Friends or Long-Term Relationships
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A person without any long-term connections might struggle with maintaining relationships. This doesn’t mean you should judge someone solely on their friend count on Facebook, but it’s worth noting. If they have no old friends or say things like “I don’t really get along with people,” ask yourself why. Relationships are built over time, and a history of healthy interactions with others usually indicates a well-rounded individual. An isolated person might have interpersonal issues that could spill into your relationship.

7. They’re Always on Their Phone

They're Always on Their Phone
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Being perpetually glued to their phone when you’re supposed to be getting to know each other is not just rude; it’s telling. It shows where their priorities lie. If they’re more interested in their screen than in you during dates, this behavior is likely to persist. Such distraction can also point to a lack of emotional availability or commitment. Relationships require presence, so if they can’t give you their undivided attention now, don’t expect it down the road.

8. They Blame Others for Everything

They Blame Others for Everything
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Someone who can’t take accountability for their actions is waving a big red flag. If every misfortune in their life is someone else’s fault, they lack self-awareness and responsibility. This trait can lead to a relationship where you find yourself constantly on the defensive, as they shift blame to avoid confronting their own shortcomings. A healthy relationship involves mutual growth and accountability. You want a partner, not a project.

9. They Try to Isolate You from Friends and Family

They Try to Isolate You From Friends and Family
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Any attempt to cut you off from your support network is a form of control and a classic tactic in abusive relationships. If they’re subtly or not-so-subtly trying to pull you away from your loved ones, be alarmed. A good partner will want to integrate into your life, not monopolize it. They should encourage your independence, not restrict it. If they make you choose between them and your friends or family, choose yourself and walk away.

10. Your Gut Says Something’s Off

Your Gut Says Something's Off
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Never underestimate your gut feeling; sometimes, it knows more than your heart and brain combined. If something feels off, there’s probably a good reason. Maybe it’s the way they look at you or how they handle frustration. Trust your instincts. Your subconscious might be picking up on subtle red flags that you’re rationalizing away. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Deal-Breakers Ahead

Deal-Breakers Ahead
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When it comes to dating, not every red flag means you need to run for the hills, but they do warrant serious thinking. Paying attention to these warning signs can save you a lot of heartache and drama. Remember, it’s not about finding a perfect person, but recognizing the warning signs early can lead to healthier, happier relationships. So keep your eyes open, trust your instincts, and don’t ignore the signs.

Read More:

15 Signs You’re More Than Just Friends: When Friendship Turns Into Romance

12 Creative Date Night Ideas to Keep the Spark Alive in Long-Term Relationships

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