Relationships are full of ups and downs, and sometimes, your partner may engage in behavior that feels less mature than you’d expect. While it’s common for people to test their relationship or their partner’s feelings in subtle ways, certain actions can come across as childish or manipulative. If you’ve found yourself wondering whether your partner is trying to “test” you or your bond, here are ten childish tests your partner might be using to decide if you’re truly the one for them. These behaviors aren’t just immature—they could be signs of insecurity or a lack of trust that could hurt your relationship in the long run.
1. The Silent Treatment
One of the most common childish tests is the silent treatment. When your partner stops talking to you as a way to “test” your patience or concern, it can feel like a game you never agreed to play. This behavior is a way of seeing how much you’ll chase after them or try to make things right, even when they’re not communicating openly about the issue at hand. Instead of fostering healthy communication, this test manipulates the situation to see how far you’ll go to gain their approval or make them feel loved. If you’re constantly on edge, wondering if you’ll be ignored or given the cold shoulder, it might be time to address this pattern head-on.
2. Testing Your Loyalty with “Fake” Situations
Some partners might create fake scenarios or tell “jokes” about infidelity to see how you respond. They might say things like, “If I cheated, would you forgive me?” or make comments about how attractive someone else is to gauge your reaction. This behavior can be a test of loyalty or an attempt to create jealousy, and it’s often rooted in insecurity. Instead of asking you to be open and honest about your feelings, your partner might be fishing for confirmation that you’re committed and won’t leave at the first sign of temptation. While it’s normal to discuss boundaries and trust in a relationship, playing games with loyalty isn’t healthy.
3. Testing Your Affection by Withholding It
If your partner withdraws affection or attention as a test to see how much you care, it’s a red flag. They may hold back love or emotional support to see if you’ll chase after them or try to “earn” their affection. Healthy relationships are based on mutual love and respect, not manipulation or trying to get the other person to prove their worth. If you feel like you’re constantly trying to meet their emotional needs without getting the same in return, you may be dealing with an immature partner who is using affection as a way to test your commitment.
4. Playing Hot and Cold
One of the most confusing and childish tests is the “hot and cold” behavior. One minute, your partner is overly affectionate and attentive, and the next, they’re distant or emotionally unavailable. This erratic behavior can leave you feeling confused and unsure about where you stand in the relationship. It’s a tactic used by some to test your emotional resilience and to see how much you’ll tolerate or invest in the relationship. Instead of being open and consistent, they rely on emotional unpredictability to measure your interest. This back-and-forth dynamic can be exhausting and unhealthy.
5. Testing Your Patience with Their “Flaws”
Partners who refuse to work on their own issues might test your love and patience by exposing their flaws repeatedly. They may engage in self-destructive behavior or make decisions that they know will irritate you, all in the name of testing how much you’ll tolerate. This could be anything from being perpetually late, leaving chores undone, or making impulsive decisions without consulting you. They might say, “I’m just trying to see if you’ll still love me despite my faults.” While it’s important to accept each other’s imperfections, a relationship should be built on mutual respect and effort to improve, not on testing the limits of patience.
6. The Money Test
Some partners may use money as a way to test how committed you are to the relationship. They might over-extend themselves financially or expect you to cover their costs, and if you’re hesitant, they might question your loyalty or generosity. This could be an obvious manipulation tactic to see if you’re willing to sacrifice for them. Healthy relationships are about mutual financial responsibility, not one partner seeing how much the other is willing to give financially. If your partner uses money as a way to test you, it could indicate a deeper issue of dependency or emotional insecurity.
7. The Ex-Comparison Test
Another childish way your partner might test you is by comparing you to their ex. This can range from casual mentions of “how my ex used to do this” to direct comparisons about looks, behavior, or even personality traits. They might even bring up past relationships as a way to see how secure or jealous you are. This type of testing is manipulative, as it forces you to prove your worthiness in comparison to someone from their past. Instead of fostering trust and building a future together, they’re forcing you to compete with an unrealistic benchmark.
8. The “Do You Love Me?” Test
This is a classic childish test: your partner might frequently ask “Do you love me?” or “How much do you love me?” as a way of fishing for compliments or reassurance. While asking for affirmation now and then is natural, doing it regularly as a test can put unnecessary pressure on the relationship. It can make you feel like you’re constantly under scrutiny, and that you must prove your feelings instead of letting them evolve naturally. Healthy relationships don’t need constant validation through these questions; instead, they rely on consistent, genuine expressions of love and affection.
9. The “I Don’t Need You” Test
Some partners might say things like, “I don’t need anyone” or “I’m fine on my own,” to see how you’ll react. This is often a test of how emotionally attached you are to them, or it’s a way of gauging your willingness to stay in the relationship. While being independent is important, using this as a tactic to test your commitment is a childish way to get attention and reassurance. A healthy relationship should be rooted in mutual support, not in pushing each other away to see who will try harder.
Don’t Fall For The Games
While it can be difficult to recognize when your partner is testing you, it’s important to understand that games like these are not a sign of a healthy relationship. Real love is based on trust, communication, and mutual respect, not manipulation or childish behavior. If you find yourself consistently wondering whether your partner is testing you or your commitment, it might be a good idea to have an open conversation about your feelings. Relationships are about growing together, not playing games to see who will care more.
Have you ever faced a childish test in your relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments and let’s start a conversation!
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Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.